For more than three decades, I’ve told people about something called “the old Tift charm.” My wife, Marnie, remembers hearing about it when we started dating in 1994. In the tales I tell, our ancestors used it to fight dragons and build pretentious catapults. Nowadays, we’ve had to adapt it to modern times.
Nearly 98% of the people who have heard these tales have found them charming.
I’ve always associated the phrase with my dad, my uncles, my cousin, and other members of my family. I thought my uncles had used this phrase when I was growing up. But when I called my family to confirm my facts, I was shocked that nobody remembered. Perhaps someone mentioned it decades ago. Perhaps I named it myself. Either way, it was a good excuse to talk to some people I love.
The Tift charm is absolutely real. Its family origins, however, are more mysterious.
The Charmers
My uncle Neil has spent more than 45 years serving fathers and families. At 79, he still serves as a Catholic deacon and works full time as a parent educator at the Native American Fatherhood & Families Association. He proudly reminds us on the regular that he has never worked a for-profit job.
My uncle Bob served as president of Benilde-St. Margaret’s. He lives nearby and has always made time to take me out to lunch and help guide me through difficult times in my life. Yes, Bob’s my uncle.
These are the same people clowning around with my dad in the photo. Growing up around them, I got to see dedication and silliness in the same people. They could give years to work they believed in and make their little nephew laugh. I still enjoy being around them and learning from them.
My parents have never wavered in their support of me, either. I love them, and I know how fortunate I am to have their encouragement. Thanks, Mom and Dad!
So when I talk about the Tift charm, I have people in mind. People who work hard, help others, and enjoy making each other laugh.
The Irish Connection
My grandma’s cousin (or my “first cousin twice removed,” if you prefer) was Garret FitzGerald. His name comes up regularly at Tift family gatherings, in large part because he served twice as the Taoiseach, or prime minister, of Ireland.
Garret was a hard-working, quirky, and charming individual whom The Independent called “the nicest man in Irish politics.” He once went out on the campaign trail wearing two different shoes, a feat I inadvertently repeated last July. I was with my wife and kids at the Mall of America, so the stakes were lower.
When he stayed at our house, I was surprised that he wore the same outfit most days, kinda like a monk. Later, I stayed at his house in Ireland, where books lined seemingly every wall on every floor. I’ll never forget the time he excused himself after dinner to write an article in his study, and the next day it was in The Irish Times.
Sometimes I think about him when I’m writing these posts, fully understanding that matthewtift.com is not The Irish Times. I remember watching him go off to write, and then I get on with my own writing. Even though he was a FitzGerald, I’d like to think Garret had the Tift charm.
What I Bring With Me
The ol’ Tift charm gives me confidence. It brings smiles to people’s faces. I talked about it in my application video for my current job, and the first reply came with the subject line “The Tift Charm.” So the charm at least got their attention, which is useful now that the demand for dragon slayers has declined.
And Marnie married me, so it was powerful enough to help me win the heart of the girl of my dreams. Nearly 32 years later, I’m still showing off for her.
I’ve spent countless hours studying the Yoga Sutras, Sanskrit, and Pali, along with anatomy, sequencing, and breathing techniques. But those studies aren’t all I bring with me when I teach. None of my relatives taught me how to rock Warrior III. They gave me examples of how to dedicate yourself to something, make time for people, and be a little silly along the way.
The yamas and niyamas give me plenty to work on: how I treat people, whether I’m being truthful, what I hold onto, and how I respond when things don’t go my way. As I practice, I’m grateful to have these people – along with so many others! – to keep learning from.
I hope to bring some of their dedication and encouragement into the room when I teach. Maybe even a few goofy jokes, too.
Whatever its origins, I hope to pass along some of the charm I’ve inherited from my family. Perhaps someone in your life has given you courage, made you feel welcome, or helped you take yourself less seriously. What would you like to pass along from them?
As for me, I have a long family tradition to uphold. Its origins remain under investigation.
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